A Whole Lotta Nothing

It's been a confusing last few weeks. I haven't done anything that is noteworthy but at the same time I've been doing a lot. I've been attending BBQ's and parties and have come away a little better off than a few weeks ago. I've continued the hundred push-ups challenge...now on week 6 and finished Day 1 last night...holy cow, that's a lot of push-ups.

I did a set of 40, a set of 50, a set of 25, another set of 25 and a max set of 50. Ugh. I did them all...it took me a little longer than they say to give yourself but I did them and that's HUGE and important in my book:) I have also continued the 200 sit-ups challenge... starting Week 3 tonight!

We went shopping last night and I found a mental hurdle I wasn't expecting. Before I lost all the weight it was all about finding shirts that fit in such a way that it didn't make me look fat. A horrible idea that never, ever works because when you are buying XL and XXL so that the shirt fits "loose" (read:baggy) then it's obvious you are hiding something, mainly rolls upon rolls...you get it. Anyways, last night while trying on size Large polos (the vintage style that runs small and more fitted) I all of the sudden felt self-conscious. I felt fat again. I looked in the mirror, nothing. I showed Sally and an old friend that still works at the store and they both said the Large is the right shirt and that it looked good fitted. Hmm. We (or rather THEY) decided that a Large Tall would work best for me. Since that size isn't carried in the store we walked away and it hit me. I was explaining to Sally how it's weird to see me fit into clothing this small and when it fits a little tighter I feel weird. She calmly explained to me that certain items of clothing should fit like that, such as the vintage style polo. The hardest part for me is accepting that maybe I do look good now, maybe I am this small. I know, I know...really "hard" problems I've got. I'm a smaller guy and after all those damn push-ups I'm actually able to wear some tighter clothing. I'm not talking about spandex tight, just fitted.

One last thing...the other night I went to a nice BBQ at my sister's. My older brother and his wife and 4 kids came down, too...I was playing with the kid's, throwing them around, lifting them up in the air, drawing with sidewalk chalk...I was pleasantly sore after that! Hmmm...there's got to be something out there that shows "workouts" you can get by playing with kids. I'll search around and let you know if I find anything!

Flea Circus

You've undoubtedly read about how you can train fleas to jump a certain height, right? If you haven't read this quote… I learned about this way back in college and it stuck with me (thanks Mom & Dad for tuition, figures I'd remember the important things)… While reading this you should make a few connections with our motivation (or lack thereof) or possibly, as I've realized for myself, you'll see a pretty strong correlation between your goals or expected results and your efforts.

"Flea trainers have observed a predicable and strange habit of fleas while training them. Fleas are trained by putting them in a cardboard box with a top on it. The fleas will jump up and hit the top of the box over and over and over again. As you watch them jump and hit the lid, something very interesting becomes obvious. The fleas continue to jump, but they are no longer jumping high enough to hit the top. When you take off the lid, the fleas continue to jump, but they will not jump out of the box. They won't jump out because they can't jump out. Why? They have conditioned themselves to jump just so high."

This all came up because of a push-up email Dennis and I have been sending back and forth recently. Well, that's how it started anyway. I was doing a burnout of push-ups the other day and I got to 32ish and I stopped and got up. I had more in me, my body just said "you're done, dude, get off the filthy ground." So I did. The next day after the email thread had started and Dennis push-upped about 40 or so I got back down without any thought of how many I was going to do. I hit 51. Hmmm. When I typically do my sets of push-ups I usually stop at 25. My thought was this: have I been conditioning myself to only be able to do 25 push-ups at a time?

As the thread went on we talked about hitting this point and the awareness of our own walls and "lids"… what we haven't figured out is how to break this conditioning… how do we let ourselves achieve greater goals and see the potential? I suppose it's just "keepin' the faith" as Dennis leaves every email to me... yes, a lead in to another post... (to come)

Calling Myself Out

Here it is, I'm calling myself out! Since I tweaked my back (which actually happened), I haven't gone jogging once, I haven't lifted a single weight (unless you count my camera) and I have even skipped some of my nightly routines (push-ups and abs). I've been using the back as an excuse but now my back is fine. In fact, it's been fine for a week and a half. We shot a wedding last week for 14 hours...no problems with the back.

So I'm laying it out there. I'm writing with my tail between my legs and a red face just to let you know and to promise myself that today I will be changing my routine (again) today!

Tonight...I'm going for a jog. I'm returning to my roots or (routes) and will be hittin' the road around 4:30 today. I'm shooting for a 5 mile loop...then I'm going to come home, have a nice dinner and feel good and less hypocritical about my "inspirational blog". Sometimes, you just have to call yourself out. I haven't been slipping at all though, in fact, my weight has stayed the same and actually has dropped a little so I'm lucky...but adding the workouts back in will drop it even faster!

No more lying to myself... if you are living up here in the Pacific Northwest you all know this is rare weather...get your butts off the couch and get outside!!! Enjoy:)

Head Games

I've struggled a little this week coming up with things I want to blog about. Is that the right verb, "blog" or should it be "post"?  Having a short week messed with my mind a bit, I kept thinking I had more time that I actually did. I would refer to tomorrow as the day itself...like "on Sunday I will do such and such" when usually I would just say "tomorrow..." 

Or maybe it's just this week? Yesterday (which was Friday) I got off work and didn't feel inspired to do anything. But, I forced myself out the door and jogged 5 miles. I felt great for the first 2 then instead of kicking it into a nice, smooth cruising gear I hit a mental wall. It really made me think about how much of running/jogging really is psychological. It's mind games. I didn't want to be out there and I was in a hurry to get back home...therefore, my run sucked. On Monday when I ran 10.6 miles I had nothing to do and my only goal for the day was a long run. Go figure, it was a great run. 

I guess what I'm really wondering is how beneficial is a workout if you aren't feeling it? Most of the time if I can just get myself started, the funk will subside and the workout seems worthwhile. But, on those occasions (such as yesterday) when I just can't get it to click I feel it was a waste of time. The funny thing is, I still jogged the 5 miles so physically I still "got" the workout. 

I suppose there must be some benefit in at least going through the motions. I had to battle my laziness yesterday and I beat that so that's a win. The next skill to figure out is once I'm out there, how do I enter that blissful feeling of workout goodness. How do I let go of the week's stress and really just focus on how great it feels? Mind you, this only happens once-in-a-while, usually I have no problem getting out there...I usually am looking forward to it!

As for today, possibly our last sunny day for a week or so, what am I going to do? I haven't figured that out. I would love to get down to Greenlake again and at least put in one good lap around the outside...then maybe later on I could do a little yoga to settle myself down and give my tired body a stretch. Battling the head games has been exhausting lately but I'm still progressing which inspires me to get back out there. This morning I weighed 216.5, a new low! 

Double Digits

I did it!  I was feeling good this morning and have had a run in my mind for the past few weeks.  After my last "long" run of 7.2 when I went down to Greenlake around it once and came back, despite the watery left eye, I thought it would be possible to add a second time around Greenlake. 

As I was jogging up to the lake I decided to stay along the outside ring and then I was going to pop into the middle eventually. However, today is a holiday and it was sunny out which in Seattle means EVERYONE was out in full force today. The double-wide stroller gangs (at least 3 wide and 2 deep), the latte holding weavers (matching North Face jackets and jeans), the high school crew teams (with oversized t-shirts and what appears to be spandex short-shorts), the tight-rope walkers, the Greenlake Speedwalker (complete with black yoga pants, Nike jacket and Nike hat with pony-tail out the back [can be confused with the Bellevue mall mom]), the roller-derby girls (no joke), the "way-too-cool" long boarders, the horse-like dogs with human size poop, the Lance Armstrong full-gear bikers and a bunch of other characters ...needless to say I stayed on the outer ring.

About 100 yards ahead of me I saw another guy going about the pace I wanted to go...so I switched gears and just cruised.  Once I caught up to him (a safe, non-stalker distance) I just paced him. That dude was a machine...in fact he's probably still down there running laps. 

The first one went by pretty easy. By the second lap I was feeling a little tightening on the sides of my quads along that muscle that runs from your knee up the side of your leg connecting to your hip...ooh yeah, I still feel it! But I kept on and before I knew it lap two was over and I was on my way back to Greenwood. I staggered into the house and plopped down to write this. 

The double-digit mark has been a long time coming and really opens the door for more long distance runs. Or at least it's easier to conceive of them. With the half-marathon coming up in May or June (not sure which I'm doing) this is definitely helping with the frame of mind I think I'll need to make it 13.1 miles. In fact, if I add another lap around Greenlake it would be close to 14 miles! 

Today I ran 10.6 miles...here's the link

Mental Hurdle #3 - The Plateau

I welcome the plateau (let me explain). A plateau signifies that things are clicking for me, I'm maintaining my current weight effortlessly, or shall I say, I'm more in tune with the changes I've been making and now I'm used to it. But, it also gives me the perfect opportunity to really break down my habits and make new goals.

Here's what I do everyday (almost):

Wake up, have coffee, have breakfast (always!), catch the bus to work, walk .6 miles to my building, climb 16-23 flights, sit on my butt all day, drink 2 liters of water, eat a PBJ and usually a piece of fruit, walk .3 miles to my bus stop, get home, go for a 4-6 mile jog (or 45 mins of yoga or nothing), then I settle in to figure out my dinner situation.

When I first started this weight-loss thing I was upset when I wasn't losing consistently and drastically but now recognizing a plateau, I will tweak my everyday routine and plan on other ways to make changes. What's next you say? Training for a half-marathon, different weight training routines and I am flirting with the notion of starting a food journal. It is amazing when you write things out, it holds you to your own word and will make you look at it differently. The best way to explain this is write down your age: (for me) 30. Only I know how I perceive this number and all the memories that are associated with it. I have my own time relativity and only I know how old I really feel.

But try this out, write out all the years you've lived consecutively.
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

Wow, yeah I know…I've been doing this exercise recently which would explain the get married, buy a house and have a kid on the way phenomena;)

Embrace the Plateau! Then change something…you'll continue to lose in no time!

A Goal – Improve our Image

One morning, like many mornings, Sally and I sat with our second cup of coffee chatting about what we want to accomplish for that day. The conversation (as it often does) moved towards our new Photography Business (shameless plug “check us out at http://www.seastudio.us/”) and what we could do to build our brand. Out came the black notebook which is where it all starts. Another outline of ideas became goals but we touched on one that felt a little funny to talk about.

At the time I had lost about 25 pounds and I was feeling pretty good because I was back to the weight I’ve spent most of my adult life at…right around 255. I convinced myself that 255 was the weight my body “liked” to be, it was easiest to maintain and I felt it was who I was, my identity. (See this previous post to learn how I got over this). The idea of making goals isn’t about dwelling on the current state of affairs so we let our minds wander.

Our business gave me another reason to succeed. I wasn’t letting me down by not trying harder…I’d be letting down my wife (even though she wouldn't agree with that;) and possibly our well-being, our business. I know, I know, it can seem a little vain, almost narcissistic but seemed as valid then as it does now. Building a brand is a huge part of our business and gave me a goal beyond myself. I hit 218 this weekend and as I get closer to the number we wrote down that day the more I think maybe I sold myself short. An interesting, unexpected twist on goal setting!

Mental Hurdle - #2

Diet and exercise, diet and exercise...I got so tired of hearing that's all it took. I would do the tricky, day-to-day "balancing" of what I thought was right. It usually included whatever I want whenever I wanted. With the help of Sally we started identifying all of my trouble areas when it came to eating. Slowly we started changing them and I found out that it really was indeed diet and exercise.

One day I was at work and found myself feeling very lethargic after lunch at work. That night I told Sally about it and we thought I should try something else. I took only a half sandwich, a piece of fruit and some crackers. It was crazy...I had been eating way more than I needed. I sit ALL day at work so I don't need a ton of calories to maintain. It was a Eureka moment for me and it made me excited to figure some more things out. 

I started making sure I ate breakfast! This is hugely important...I read a quote about how to think of the meals we eat. "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper." Think about it and give it a try.

While I was reigning in the amount of food I was eating I was simultaneously eating better foods. More fruits and vegetables (of course), more organics (everything I could afford), less fried foods, less fatty foods...and as time went on and I got healthier I stopped wanting things like chips, beer and other high calorie foods. 

It was difficult letting go of some of these comfort foods but as time went on and my goals became more a part of my daily life the easier it got to stay away from them! 

Mental Hurdle - #1

Much of my struggle to lose weight came in various forms of mental hurdles that, as one would expect, have changed quite a bit since I’ve started. When I figured out that much of what was holding me back was myself I took to identifying the hurdle and treating them as a goal.

Through this blog I will be outlining a few of the major mental hurdles I’ve faced along the way. These will not be in any specific or chronological order.

When I entered High School I weighed 200 pounds. With the help of my football rosters and an easy weight gain pattern I’ve remembered this for years. My sophomore year I was 230 pounds. Junior year I was tipping the scales at 260…when I graduated I’d settled into my comfortable 250-255 range.

One of the most interesting mental blocks I’ve faced thus far is shedding my “big guy” identity. It was acceptable to say I was big boned or that my body “likes” being 255. In fact, during high school some of my friends called me Mungo after the character in “Blazing Saddles”. Mongo (not Mungo *note, my friends were good friends but not the sharpest tools in the shed) is a huge oaf and in an infamous scene punches a horse in the face. I played football and many of my friends were big guys so I just felt comfortable at that weight and comfortable with my "big guy" identity.

Only until recently after one of my many inspired talks with Sally did I realize there was a fear of losing my identity. I felt doomed to be what everyone knew me as “a big guy”. After that talk I came to my senses…being the “big guy” or the “big brother” never suited me well inside. I was over it, way quicker than it took for it to be gradually and deeply ingrained in me.

With that hurdle for my former “identity” behind me, my workout and determination became way more focused. I get excited to see people I haven’t seen in a few years, even a few months because I’m a changed man and I never thought it could feel so empowering!